You were planned - whether or not by your parents - you made it here over millions of other sperm/egg union attempts.
For some reason the Universe wanted you here. You have a purpose. What is it?
That’s hard to define and perhaps it’s something we discover step by step as we go along. The truth is, just BEING is enough. Some people spend their lives in the pub, others in the office, some on the street, some serving others, some jetting around in luxury and glamour… they are all existing in their own ways.
Your world is detailed and massive, and yet you are like a tiny grain of sand or a star in a sky of billions, when you think of the bigger picture. And there’s not just this planet and cosmos. My brother Oli says (and he’s clever) that we may well be part of a multiverse. But let’s not get overwhelmed.
You were a tiny seed planted, with your folks’ genes, nurtured by family (ideally with love) and you developed your own personality accordingly. A unique combination of nature and nurture. Every new baby is celebrated at its birth - you included.
A few things went wrong along the way, because no childhood is perfect and nor is any person. Some things you like about yourself, hopefully, and some things you really don’t. The great news is that these things are not set in stone. You can change your beliefs, your habits, your behaviour, your mindset, your surroundings and your life.
Every day we successfully wake up (you’re reading this so we can safely say that) with new opportunities, new choices to make, and a fresh start. I want to inspire you to make those changes that become larger improvements to your own life and the lives of those around you.
Some things that happened to us along the way were shit and have not been beneficial, and we have grown to think that we are stuck with that. I discovered along my own journey that we can have more effect on how things go then we ever realised.
Lightbulb Moment: You can make more of a difference than you thought!
Our parents did the best they could with what they had at the time. This can be a hard concept to grasp but it does help with forgiveness, which is essential for moving forward.
By ‘what they had at the time’ I don’t mean just materially; I mean their own mindset, abilities, experience and compassion. Also, you can’t change the past, so acceptance and forgiveness do make sense.
Check out this from Psychology Today: 'Recent studies had shown that individuals who'd had chaotic childhoods exhibited an enhanced ability to detect and monitor threats and to recall negative events. Was it possible that, under the right conditions, kids from stressed environments would perform better than expected at efficient information gathering, assessing people's reputations, and other reasoning abilities?'
Think how many celebs had tough childhoods. What they've been through (and come out the other side of) has made them who they are now. Perhaps it's a part of them that they needed in order to bring out their creativity.
There's evidence that things can be turned around and used to our advantage. A tricky childhood (and really, I can't think of anyone who had a perfect one - can you?) can make us more understanding, more streetwise, and more sensitive, more considerate, and these things can be a good thing. Sometimes the self development journey can lead to a more fulfilling life than just floating along, and therapy is nothing to be ashamed of or scared of. My own view is that everyone needs to go through therapy to discover who they are, who they want to be and where they are going!
Love Sal x