Do you ever discover something and think 'Oh I seeeeeee!' or 'I finally got it!'? It's the moment when something just clicks and falls into place with you. The penny drops. Annie Grace calls it 'Cognitive Dissonance'. It happens over and over again in your life - different things at different times for everyone. I finally got that we come across each new knowledge or life progress when we are ready for it.
I once shared a blog called 'Trust Your Clock' in which Katie Dobson talks about things happening in their own time and differently for everyone. It turned out to be the most popular blog I've shared so far from this website.
'I never really found my ‘thing’ and drifted between jobs for years. It was purely by accident that I set up The Cutlery Commission, and with no business experience whatsoever. Now at 37... I’ve never been happier.Tripping the light fantastic with my soul mate - who I’ve known and fancied for 15 years but never thought our paths would join. Trust your clock!'
Some people are ahead of you, some are behind, but it really isn't your concern. It's not a competition.
Over the years I've seen friends give up alcohol - some have had to hit rock bottom first and others just decided it was time or made a discovery that meant they no longer wanted to give booze that place in their lives. Others have given in to it entirely and are either still in a horrible place of struggle or have lost their lives to it.
Then there's spirituality and religion. Personally I've explored various faiths and ways of thinking and am still on my personal journey but where I am now with it feels better than I've felt before. Meditation, which goes hand in hand with spirituality - I know people who have been meditating as long as I've known them, and I discovered it myself way back in school days at a retreat with Catholic school. I knew it was something that felt right to me deep within and have rediscovered it in different ways and methods all the way along, sometimes going for months or years without purposely doing it, but experiencing it spontaneously without trying. The same with prayer.
Pic below shows me meditating. Not.
There are so many parts to the jigsaw - so many lifestyle choices or nuggets of wisdom that we piece together to become part of our lives or we reject as it doesn't fit or resonate with us.
Some people come to a realisation that animals should be off the menu and there are various degrees of which level they take that to. Some cut out certain things from their diet such as factory farmed meat and opt for free range. They may graduate to vegetarianism or veganism. Some make a firm decision all in one go.
'Animals must be off the menu because tonight they are screaming in terror.'
For some it's politics. Then there's fitness or sport or hobbies and all the offshoots and variations of that. Each subject umbrellas a multitude of threads underneath it. I remember when my friend turned up to wish me well in my new apartment and handed me a book called Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui. Clutter clearing then became an ongoing part of my journey.
It doesn't matter when or how you make these discoveries and decisions (although with the beneficial ones there's no time like the present) and it doesn't matter where others are on their journey. There are so many realisations to come to that self-development is just endless. I've heard it called The Growth Mindset and I find it totally exciting! Now more than ever before we have access to so much information that we can educate ourselves to our benefit limitlessly, feeding ourselves with knowledge and inspiration. I jokingly refer to these things as fads but if they are beneficial and they stick and become a positive habit, you just continue to flourish. I've had depression and other mental health issues so I know the flip side of it and I am choosing to go in a positive, holistic direction as much as I can.
So I was in the bathroom cleaning my teeth and listening to a podcast about giving up alcohol and I was thinking oh, right, so this is what my friend was discovering 10 years before me! That friend has messaged me after seeing me talking about it on social media. She isn't smug or trying to shower me with advice. She just sees where I am and acknowledges it and is pleased for me. The exciting thing is that all these discoveries are here for everyone, not just a few who seem to be on the right track. The road can be bumpy but without the lows, pain and disasters we wouldn't experience the highs and wins and euphoria.
Now I'm on to committing to regular fitness activities and making the most of my body as I'm approaching 50 this year. I just wasn't interested or ready until now. Pic below shows me weightlifting. Sorry, Mum, I went ahead and got those tattoos after all.
My point here is, go at your speed, do your thing, focus on you and don't worry about where others are at in their journey and what progress they are making. They might inspire you, you might inspire them - we just take turns in inspiring each other and lifting each other up. That's what we're here for.
Love Sal x