Bitching Bitching Bitching... But Why Do People Do It?
LAURA from Heavenly Holistics
In my opinion their are two main reasons:
2. They have boring lives with nothing better do to than gossip about others.
Surely the saying still stands 'if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all'. In my eyes people who bitch are quite frankly sad individuals. Everyone is different in this world and everyone is going through different situations in their lives, some good, some bad, some struggles, some happy times... so is anyone to even judge anyone else?!
There are people who bitch and thrive on other people’s misfortunes - these I think are the worst. I’ve met a few in my time and they barely get the supermarket wave now! Bitching will drain you of energy, make you a bitter person and encourage negative vibes - NOT GOOD FEELINGS. It costs nothing to be kind to others, so next time you think about bitching ask yourself why? How you would feel if someone was bitching about you? It might make you think twice. Tomorrow, why not do something nice for someone, such as a nice gesture or comment. Let’s bump each other up not shut people down.
SALI from Cheltenham Lifestyle & Business
Several years ago I heard a talk (actually it was a sermon) during which the speaker mentioned gossip, and put the suggestion to the audience of making a different, kinder choice. It made me think about the concept of bitching and I decided to make a concerted effort not to be a part of it. I remember once walking away from a friend's apartment in London with another friend and saying 'I feel good for her, knowing that we will walk away and only say lovely stuff about her.' The feeling of having said something negative about someone actually leaves a taint on yourself, compared to saying something complimentary or supportive, which kind of magnifies and makes you feel a good feeling radiating from within.
Apparently people gossip for an average of 52 minutes a day.
I suppose when we're at school and with friends and family as we're growing up, we can get sucked in to a culture of talking about other people and this can become a habit. People often do it to make themselves feel better, thinking that putting others down and pointing out their faults, laughing about them or saying spiteful things will make the other person look bad. In fact, quite the opposite can occur. And it's not just a female trait. Men do it too. Isn't bitching a form of bullying and gossip an unnecessary form of entertainment? Who benefits in the end?
If bitching and gossip have become a habit for you, don't worry. You didn't notice it happening and it crept up on you. But now you're thinking about it you can make a fresh start and a new commitment. No-one is perfect if we catch ourselves doing it we can still turn the conversation back around. Of course we all need a moan now and then but it doesn't have to be at the expense of someone else. It doesn't have to betray a confidence. It's possible to offload to someone you trust, or express concern about someone you know, or even admit that they are driving you mad, without including a character assassination. Everyone is tired of it. Even this monkey.
One of my favourite pieces of information that I've learnt from going through therapy is that we cannot control the behaviour of others, only how we react to it. If you bitch about someone it's mainly you who suffers - immediately or longer term.
Stop the bitchin' and increase the lovin'! xx